You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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