she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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