I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
