She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
