Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
