why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
