She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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