You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
