Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
