I want to stick my p in your. b.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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