I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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