I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
and you fell through a lawn chair
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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