Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
