Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
