Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
