did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
3 2 1 whiskey
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
