Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
