I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
