So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
