haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
