you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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