no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
