Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
