I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
