im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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