My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
