Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
