He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
