we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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