everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
