i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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