then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
