What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
