Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Where is the hickey?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
