how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
