i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
