I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
