Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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