Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
