____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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