he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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