her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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