I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
