there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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