My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
