i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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