No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
