WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
