During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just pee around me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
