we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
